Don't Die With A Full Liquor Cabinet!

There is a quote from a Woody Allen movie that Comedy equals Tragedy plus Time. I don't know where this subject fits in, but I thought there might be some wisdom.

After my father passed away, there were household effects to be settled and distributed or sold. One area of interest was the liquor cabinet. As a social man with a hearty appetite and many friends from all walks of life, this was reflected in the diverse range of wines, liqueurs, and spirits available. Many of the bottles had been opened, and as my father was ill and on critical medication and palliative care, this collection was untouched for months, even years.

Imagine a collection with a "one of each" representation of different drinks: scotch, rye, rum, cognac, gin, vodka. Follow that with a rainbow coalition of liqueurs, shooters, aperatifs, and combination hybrids. This was topped with some "ethnic samples" that would probably help stock cars break NASCAR records. And by the standards of his friends and companions, this was a modest assortment.

Alcohol, be it beer, wine, spirits, or other forms, is very enjoyable in small portions at appropriate times, but potentially very destructive and a catalyst for other ailments. Having alcohol promotes excess consumption, which then leads to bad consequences. Having more than can be consumed within a few weeks or months will cause the drink to spoil, losing its value and distinctive taste.

Alcohol is not a staple. It should not be bought in bulk like paper towels, canned soup, or macaroni and cheese. Alcohol is a complement to a meal or lifestyle, and should be bought as needed. In fact, the absence of alcohol could provide for other alternatives which do not diminish the experience.

Alcohol is also not an asset unless you are spending more than $100 per bottle (which would then make it a collectable). Therefore, it should be treated as a consumable - like potato chips or chocolate. Buy as needed, and consume when appropriate.

One alternative is to get together with friends or afficionados and form a "drinking club" where the costs could be shared. This might sound blatant, so if you are part of a golf or hockey team or fraternal organization, you could do your elaborate drinking within the confines of that group - sharing expenses. Some fund-raisers include beer or scotch tasting nights which is a better alternative than having the full bar within your house.

Being Thrifty with alcohol does not mean selecting the cheapest item. In fact, it is cheaper to drink more expensively. Rather than getting a large keg of mass-produced beer which induces hangovers and chemical reactions, opt for the craft-brewed alternative that has fewer chemicals, more flavour, and better reception among friends and family. Rather than getting a box of cheap wine that brings on headaches and ulcers, opt for the smallest bottle of a high-end vintage.

If you think of surplus as waste, then a full liquor cabinet is really wasted and unwanted material which was left over. We don't know when our time will come when we can no longer enjoy alcohol, so we should always keep our stock lean and enjoyable so that it is good to the last drop.